This is Why we Can't Have Nice Things
by anondabunny
Summary: /PROFILE MOVED TO ASAGURBLE/ "This is why we can't have nice things." "Shut it, flea." Shizaya, Rape, Yaoi, Lemons, ShizuoxIzaya


"This is why we can't have nice things."

Izaya stood in front of the mangled heap of metal and wire and sighed. He turned his head to look disappointedly at Shizuo, who just glared at him.

"Shut it, flea."

"You broke my toaster. Now how will I make toast?"

"Shut up, you don't even like toast!"

"No, but I like Poptarts."

"Then eat them cold!"

"EW, that's disgusting Shizu-chan."

The blond growled lowly and turned to the door. "I'm leaving."

He took two steps out the door before he heard Izaya. "Fine, I guess I'll tell the whole building that Shizuo and I di-"

A strong hand clasped over Izaya's mouth. Shizuo laughed hauntingly. "N-No way…It wasn't my fault! I was drunk; I thought you were a girl! NOT MY FAULT!"

Izaya starred with a blank expression as Shizuo unclasped his mouth. "You owe me a new toaster."

Shizuo sighed "Fine I'll get you a damned toaster."

"Not just any toaster," Izaya pointed at Shizuo's nose. "A _fancy new_ toaster."

The taller man slapped Izaya's hand away. "Fine, a FANCY NEW toaster." Shizuo mocked Izaya's voice.

"Fine…" Izaya turned on his heel and walked towards his bedroom. "You didn't know it was me when we did it, correct?"

Shizuo stood, dumbfounded, before he slowly nodded. "Yeah…"

"Well then…" Izaya turned around, slipping his fur lined jacket off his shoulders to reveal harsh purple bruises and hickeys lining his collar bone.

_Whoa, no shirt! _Shizuo grabbed his nose to stop the oncoming nosebleed. _He really does look like a girl._

"How about another round? One that you'll remember?"

(NOW FOR THE !)

Shizuo grabbed Izaya's exposed shoulder and pushed him to the ground. He winced, his back hitting the hardwood floor with a loud thud.

"Ow, please be gentler Shizu-chan!"

"Shut up." Izaya's eyes widened at Shizuo's expression. It was filled with lust and want and NEED. "You started it flea, and now I'm going to fuck you until you scream so loud, you won't be able to talk for weeks."

Izaya smirked, "Oh, how romantic, Shizu-chan~! Please fuck me!" He laughed in a mocking voice. Shizuo, who had had quiet enough of Izaya's laughter, captured his lips in a bruising kiss. The shorter moaned into it, gripping the back of Shizuo's bartender getup in his hands.

"Nghh…!" Izaya broke off for air. Before he could fully regain his composure, Shizuo started biting his chest and neck. "Shi-Shizu-!"

"Shut it, flea." He mumbled, clearly not caring a bit for Izaya's welfare. Shizuo quickly, and without taking his mouth off Izaya's chest, undid his pants. His already-erect penis poked Izaya through his jeans.

"Heheh…already- ugh- hard?" He moaned in between giggles. The blond growled and ripped Izaya's jeans in two. "W-Wait! Shizu-chan…I'm nowhere near ready-AH!"

Izaya screamed in pain as Shizuo forced himself inside the half-clothed information broker. "Ngh, loosen up…you're too damn-arg-tight!"

The shorter of the two cried out, "A-AH! I-I feel like my insides are being ripped out!" He screamed louder, tears rolling down his face. "P-PLEASE!" He begged Shizuo, who was now thrusting at a slow pace, "P-Pull out! It hurts!"

"You're the one who wanted me to fuck you, correct?"

"NGH! No, Shizu-chan! Not like this!"

"Say it. Say my name properly."

"Wh-What?" Izaya starred through wide, pain filled eyes as Shizuo quickened his pace.

"Say it!"

For the first time in a long time, Izaya was scared. He sobbed pitifully, unable to form the proper words. Shizuo growled and used one hand to pull Izaya's hair violently.

"I told you to say it!"

"Ngh…Ah…Shi-Shi…Shizu…Shizuo…" Izaya managed to say between his shaking sobs.

Shizuo smiled in triumph. "Say 'Please fuck me, Heiwajima-sama.'"

Shivering, Izaya muttered, "P-Please f-fuck…me, Hei-wajuma-sama-AHH!"

"As you wish."

His pace quickened and soon, all Izaya could do was scream his name. "Shizuo…Shizuo…SHIZUO!"

With one more hard thrust, Shizuo came hard inside of Izaya. The feeling of Shizuo's large member shooting hot semen into him made Izaya cum not long after.

But just as Izaya thought it was over, Shizuo continued to thrust.

"W-WHAT? Shizuo, stop!" He cried in pain from being over stimulated. "I-It hurts! I just came! It's too much!"

"Stop? You don't really mean that."

"Yes I do!"

"No, you say 'No' but look, you're already hard again."

Izaya looked down, indeed, it felt good, but only to his body. His mind screamed and cried for Shizuo to stop, but his body wanted more of Shizuo's hot rod. More sobs wracked his shaking form. The blond ignored it and continued to thrust hard, until he had once again reached climax.

Finally, he pulled out. Rivers of white semen and red blood seeped from Izaya's entrance. Izaya groaned once more before passing out on the cold ground.

Shizuo stood. "Heh…you really are a good lay, huh, Izaya-_kun._" He buttoned up his pants and straightened his shirt. "Just like the rumours said." Was all he said before he left the apartment.

END~!

I'm sick….-dies-


End file.
